When Parents do too much

As college application season starts to ramp up, I see a familiar pattern in my office. Parents, driven by a natural desire to protect their kids from stress, begin stepping in to manage the heavy lifting. It’s such an understandable impulse—the process is overwhelming, and you want to smooth the path. But there is a vital shift we have to make: moving from taking over to supporting.

I often share a striking piece of research with families: in a study of over 21,000 participants, researchers found that "overparenting" (or doing things for kids they can do themselves) is actually linked to higher rates of anxiety and depression, and lower resilience. Essentially, the more we "over-help," the more we might unintentionally impact our children’s mental health.

Researchers call this "developmentally inappropriate control." Even though it comes from a place of pure love, when we protect our teens from small challenges, we accidentally take away their chance to build independence. It sends a silent, internal message: "I don't think you can handle this." Over time, that can really rattle a student's confidence.

Think of this process as their "training wheels" for the real world:

In College: Professors expect students to advocate for themselves regarding grades, and roommates expect them to handle conflicts directly.

At Home (Now): You are their safety net! You can help them brainstorm what to say in an email or help them organize their deadlines, but let them hit send and make the call.

When your student solves a problem or handles a tricky admissions question themselves, they gain something far more valuable than a completed task: they gain the confidence that they can navigate the adult world.

May Newsletter

financial matters: The A to Z of College Finance

Focus on Majors: Applied Mathematics

If your student has a head for numbers but isn't sure which career path to take, Applied Mathematics might just be the perfect "undecided" major for the quantitatively gifted. It lives in that fascinating space between pure math and the real-world industries—like science, engineering, and business—that use math as a daily tool.

Students in this field build a powerhouse toolkit in calculus, linear algebra, differential equations, probability, and computational methods, then pivot to see how those theories actually solve global problems.

Is This a Good Fit?
Success in this major starts with a solid foundation. If your teen is currently taking Calculus, Statistics, or Physics, they are already on the right track. Computer science is another huge plus, as programming is the engine behind most modern math.

Beyond the transcript, look for a specific mindset. Does your student:

Feel comfortable sitting with a problem that doesn't have an obvious "back of the book" answer?

Care more about WHY a method works than just getting the right result?

Have a natural curiosity about how the world is measured, predicted, or modeled?

The Power of a Flexible Curriculum
The real magic of an Applied Math degree comes from pairing it with a second subject. Because of this, I always recommend looking for schools with flexible curricula. Programs that don't weigh students down with rigid General Education (GE) requirements allow more room to explore how math "applies" to other interests.

Brown University: Their famous Open Curriculum is a dream for this  major.

A is for Account: Open a checking account with branches near both home and campus. It makes parental transfers and day-to-day spending much smoother.
B is for Budget: Build a realistic one together. Include everyday fun, but don't forget a "cushion" for the unexpected.
C is for Credit Rating: Encourage your student to pay their card in full each month. Building a strong credit score now is a massive head start for their 20s.
D is for Debt: About half of graduates leave school with loans, typically between $30,000 and $35,000. Knowing the "why" behind the borrowing helps you make better choices.
E is for Expected Family Contribution: Now officially called the Student Aid Index (SAI). Remember: this isn't the "sticker price" you’ll definitely pay; it’s just the number colleges use to see what aid you qualify for.
F is for Flexible-Spending: Many meal plans include "flex" dollars for campus cafés. It’s a great way for parents to add funds while keeping some structure.
G is for Grants: These are the "holy grail" of aid—they’re need-based, reduce your costs, and never have to be repaid.
H is for Health Insurance: If your student isn't staying on your family plan, check the college’s insurance requirements before move-in day.
I is for Internet: Use it for scholarship searches, but stay vigilant—stick to reputable sources to avoid scams.
J is for Jobs: Even a basic campus job (8–12 hours a week) builds great time-management skills and provides walking-around money.
K is for Kitchen: Choosing a dorm with a kitchen can significantly lower food costs and boost independence.
L is for Loans: Always look at Federal loans first. They offer better protections and lower interest rates than private options.
M is for Meal Plan: Start small! Students often overestimate how much they’ll eat on campus. You can always upgrade later.
N is for Need: This is the gap between the cost of attendance and your SAI. This number is the "magic key" for need-based aid.
O is for Overseas: Study abroad usually costs about the same as a semester on campus. While travel is extra, the experience is priceless.
P is for PLUS Loans: These are federal loans for parents. Just be sure to review those repayment terms carefully before signing.
Q is for Questions: Never hesitate to call the Financial Aid office. If your situation changes, you can always file an appeal.
R is for Reduce: Save money by using AP credits, taking community college classes, or aiming to graduate a semester early.
S is for Scholarships: This is "gift aid" based on talent, academics, or interests. Every bit helps!
T is for Telephone: Watch those phone plans; they can be a "quiet" drain on a student’s budget.
U is for Unpaid Positions: They won’t pay the bills now, but internships and volunteer roles add huge value to a post-grad resume.
V is for Volunteer: Campus service organizations are a great way to build community and a sense of purpose.
W is for Work-Study: If you qualify via the FAFSA, these jobs are great because the earnings are treated favorably in future aid calculations.
X is for Extras: Don't forget to plan for books, supplies, and social outings—they add up fast!
Y is for You: Remember the "Return on Investment." College grads currently earn over $1 million more over their lifetime than those with only a high school diploma.
Z is for Zoom: Aim to finish in four years (or fewer!). Only about 60% of students graduate within six years, so staying on track is the best way to keep total costs down.

Choosing a gap year

After years of grueling schedules and high-pressure deadlines, many students reach the end of high school feeling more "burnt out" than "fired up." If your student is in this boat, a gap year can be a transformative way to reset, gain real-world perspective, and build the maturity required for college success.

It’s important to remember that a gap year isn't about taking a year off—it’s about taking a year with purpose.

The Data: Why it Works
The research is incredibly encouraging. Students who take a gap year:

Outperform their peers: They are more likely to graduate on time and tend to have higher GPAs throughout all four years of college.

Are more motivated: Returning to school with a clear "why" leads to higher levels of engagement and self-reliance.

Are perceived as more mature: Admissions offices and future employers often see these students as more independent and "ready."

Finding the Right Structure
A gap year looks different for everyone. It could mean staying local to work and save money, pursuing an internship, or diving into language immersion.

Domestic Options: You don't have to go overseas. Programs like City Year offer leadership and academic support roles in U.S. schools.

Wellness-Focused: For students navigating anxiety or burnout, therapeutic gap year programs provide a structured bridge to help them build mental health resilience before campus life begins.

Resources: The Gap Year Association is the gold standard for exploring vetted options.

The Consultant’s Strategy: How to Apply
Many families worry that a gap year will hurt their admission chances. Actually, colleges view them quite favorably, provided there is a plan. Here is the best way to handle the logistics:

Apply Normally: Have your student apply during their senior year of high school.

Secure the "Yes": Once they are admitted and choose their school, they should request a deferral. These deadlines are usually in the summer after graduation.

Check the Rules: Most colleges will allow a deferral for a meaningful gap year, but with one major catch: students usually cannot take college-level coursework during that year without losing their freshman status. Always confirm the specific college's policy.

The Bottom Line
For a student who needs time to develop independence or recover from academic exhaustion, this isn't a "year behind." With a clear goal and a solid structure, it’s a head start on the rest of their life.

The Applied Math concentration offers tracks in biology, computer science, economics, and physics. Plus, the Division of Applied Mathematics lets students dive into research in areas like fluid dynamics, mathematical biology, and machine learning theory.

University of Rochester: Using the "Rochester Curriculum," students choose three "clusters" of study rather than fixed core requirements. It’s a similar philosophy to Brown but often at a more accessible admissions level. It’s perfect for double-majoring in Economics or CS without the usual "GE friction."

USC: For students who want to hit the ground running, USC offers a five-year combined Bachelor’s and Master’s. Students apply in their sophomore or junior year, taking graduate-level courses that count toward both degrees. This 4+1 structure is a fantastic way to deepen credentials quickly.

The minor your student chooses often acts as a compass for their career. Here’s how those pairings usually play out:

Computer Science leads toward software, machine learning, or AI. Economics is Ideal for quantitative finance, policy analysis, or consulting. Biology/Neuroscience opens doors to computational biology and bioinformatics. Statistics is the gold standard for data science or deep research tracks. Public Health is vital for health policy and global health organizations. While psychology/cognitive science is a unique path into User Experience (UX) research or behavioral economics.

The AI Connection: For the student interested in building the next generation of AI, Applied Math is the bedrock. AI systems run on linear algebra, calculus, and probability. As these tools become a staple of every industry, the world needs people who don't just use the model, but actually understand what the output means and when to question it. That ability to interpret a result is perhaps the most valuable skill a student can graduate with today.

Our goal isn't to solve every problem for them today; it’s to make sure they have the tools to solve them on their own tomorrow.